Lolita, qu'ai-je fait de ta vie?

24.05.2017.

My destructive side has grown a mile wide

I couldn't resist him
His eyes were like yours
His hair was exactly the shade of brown
He's just not as tall, but I couldn't tell
It was dark and I was lying down

You are everything - he means nothing to me
I can't even remember his name
Why're you so upset?
Baby, you weren't there and I was thinking of you when I came

What do you expect?
You left me here alone; I drank so much and needed to touch
Don't overreact - I pretended he was you
You wouldn't want me to be lonely

How can I put it so you understand?
I didn't let him hold my hand
But he looked like you; I guess he looked like you
No he wasn't you
But you can still trust me, this ain't infidelity
It's not cheating; you were on my mind

Yes he looked like you
But I heard love is blind...

***

All I can ever be to you
Is the darkness that we knew,
And this regret I've got accustomed to.

24.05.2017.

Posao za odrasle

Kažem ja onako iz šale materi da bi bilo lijepo kad bi mi dala love da odem par dana vani, imam kao neke prijatelje tamo, pa eto, da mi guzica vidi puta. Kad će ona: "Ako nađeš sebi poslić, pa da mi vratiš te pare što ti dam, i platiš sebi školarinu, ožeži."

(2 minute nakon) ... Gugla oglase.

Jebeš mu mater, jedino sam kvalifikovana za posao porno glumice.
Čitam cjenovnik, honorar po filmu, dvije hiljade eura.

...

Sjedim.
Pušim.
Razmišljam.

23.05.2017.

Nijema si i gluha, oči su te same odale

Ti si najbolja, kad si slobodna
u tvom svijetu sve, radi za tebe


- Puno toga se skupilo u grudima, neka me golema tuga pritisla, ne da mi disati, ne da mi živjeti. Znaš ono kad si me pitao šta mi je najednom, što sam smrknuta, a ja ti ne znadoh reći da to ustvari i nije najednom, da je to u meni oduvijek, kao zloćudni tumor s kojim sam osuđena da živim. Možda je to i bio razlog mojoj ljubavi prema tebi. Osjećala sam da i u tebi živi nešto prokleto, nešto što ti ne da mira, pa sam mislila da sam napokon našla nekog sličnog sebi.

- Ti si bila moja misao, neuhvatljiva i nezadrživa, nepredvidiva. I koliko god sam te voljeo nisam mogao pobjeći od istine da u tebi ne mogu naći oslonac, taman te uhvatim, a ti se raspršiš, pa ostanem još ranjiviji.

- Meni je žao. Ponavljam to čitavog života, a najčešće važnim ljudima. Meni je stvarno žao.

- Znam. Znam i da si dala i više nego što si bila sposobna da daš.

- Očito da nije bilo dovoljno.

- Znaš li što sam ja tebe volio? Znaš li zašto si mi toliko trebala? Trebala mi je stabilnost, trebao mi je dom, porodica, ja to nikada u životu nisam imao. S' tobom sam imao osjećaj kao da pripadam negdje. Ali ti si već imala pravi dom, tebi nije trebao drugi. Imala si i snove o samo svome, vlastitom domu, samo svom samotnom životu. Zato sam ti donio nešto, da me se po nečemu sjećaš. 

Kada sam vidjela poklon, pala sam u nesvjest od sreće.
Ako me čitate duži period, mogli ste iz mojih postova zaključiti da sam luda za pustinjom, životom u pustinji, pustinjskim ružama, Stingovom istoimenom pjesmom, pjeskom, ljetom, suncem.

Ljudi .. dobila sam pustinjsku ružu.




22.05.2017.

what if

And if you didn't exist
Tell me why I should exist
To drag along in a world without you
Without hope and without regret
And if you didn't exist
I would try to invent love
As a painter who sees from beneath his fingers
The colours of the day being born
And who doesn't return.
 
And if you didn't exist
Tell me for whom I should exist
Passing girls, asleep in my arms
That I would never love
And if you didn't exist
I wouldn't be but another dot
In this world, which comes and goes
I would feel lost
I would need you
 
And if you didn't exist
Tell me how I would
I could pretend to be me
But it wouldn't be true
And if you didn't exist
I think that I would have found
The secret of life, the why
Only to create you
And to gaze at you
 
And if you didn't exist
Tell me why I should exist
To drag along in a world without you
Without hope and without regret
And if you didn't exist
I would try to invent love
As a painter who sees from beneath his fingers
The colours of the day being born
And who doesn't return.
20.05.2017.

-.-

Kad je Prince umr'o, svi su najednom bili obožavatelji i tugovali. Mogla sam da razumijem, slabo ko nije znao ko je on. David Bowie kad je preminuo, čovjek bi rekao da svak živ u Sarajevu sluša dobru i kvalitetnu muziku. A to mišljenje se samo moglo potvrditi nakon smrti George Michaela.

Ali količina šuše koja je na fb-u izbacila RIP Chris Cornell je zapanjujuća. Obje sise dajem, 90% tih ljudi nije čulo ni za Temple of the dog, ni za Soundgarden ni za Audioslave. Na kraju krajeva, ni za Chrisa.

Pitam se samo kada je to postalo hip i kul javno tugovati za mrtvim ljudima i hoćemo li sad čitati redom smrtovnice iz Avaza i objavljivati RIP.


Noviji postovi | Stariji postovi